From End to Beginning
by Hatsumomoji
Summary: A melancholy story for Kyoya and Tamaki, I guess I can't explain this one just take a look and I'll be happy.Tamaki's POV


Ahhhhh, here it is! Hello again folks- I got a lotta stuff going on but I wanted to post real fast.

NOTE This is a collaberation of my ideas and something else I read but forgive me, I don't remember from where. (not here though) Also took a piece from a previous work- The Empty Wardrobe

Another new idea, trying out a gamble.

* * *

The end…

* * *

Feeling desolate, I looked around my empty room, taking in the bare walls and the quiet loss that hung in the air. With the curtains drawn and the closet open, my haven had become the image of my heart. The familiar feeling of loss settled in the pit of my stomach as I remembered what had happened. 

It wasn't supposed to end this way. Tears had over flown and hands had been held out, begging for the return of those familiar fingers, but his heart refused and he left. All that hadn't been broken lay waiting for the moment to fall and finally shatter and join all the rest of the wrecked pieces of my heart. If anyone had bothered to come for me, they would have been able to hear the soft sound of my heart breaking into tiny pieces.

My eyes welled up with painful tears and the voices could still be heard echoing in my ears. The shouts resounded in hesitating, non believing hearts, until all that was left was the still stunned silence. Everything held its breath, as if expecting someone to whirl around and cry out in apology, to beg for forgiveness, but nothing came.

The room was still, anticipating, waiting for the door to open again and arms to release and soothe the ache in my arms, all through my body, but as can be expected- he never came. I never went to him, and because of that resolution to maintain our pride rather than our hearts, we broke each other.

I stood slowly and sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the room that had lost all it's familiarity. My heart felt vacant, much like the empty closet- open wide, empty and exposed.

Then, quietly, the sobs began. They were soft and gentle at first, as if I were young again and found myself in a place that was lonely and strange. Then the sound grew frightening and harsh, and the seeping tears began to overflow until the sobs shook my entire body, quivering with a tremor that was my despair.

The phone lay waiting to be called to duty in my hand and yet the tears returned, until I couldn't feel them fall- until they ceased to fall altogether.

The reminder of my loss attacked me so violently I think a knife would have been softer. The only hint that I was still alive was the pounding in my ears- the beat of a broken heart. I'd lost track of time. There was no light or dark- no separation of day or night, just the dimness of a room that consumed me and suffocated me with the weight of its pain on my chest. The sheets and pillows had been strewn across the floor in a frenzy of anguish and panic. His face still clung to my mind just like my heart still clung to his love. With him, all my hopes had died- my body could barely function. I loved him, and now he was gone- gone, he was gone…It was all I could do to keep my eyes open and continue to breathe.

* * *

…the middle…

* * *

There is bliss in the heart of someone who loves. Those first few days, those first months, when just the mention of his name was enough to make me smile like some giddy fool. When even the worst of things could happen and I would dismiss it with a wave of my hand, my carefree heart already to far gone to notice or care. When rain never fell, and the sky was always, always blue. 

The first kiss, the first touch, all of it replayed in my mind over and over until I knew it backwards. Everything that was right and perfect I already had in him. Nothing could phase me, so long as he was there. Tiny things, like the glance of his eye, his laughter, treasures I kept with me forever.

There isn't any dramatic story behind the ending. There was no secret lover, and I didn't cheat on him. I could have, plenty times, but I didn't. He was the only one that mattered. It ended very quietly, softly, almost hesitantly, on it's own. We had too many days apart without calling, too many fights over who did what- too many days gone by in a hurry, where we dashed off without turning to say- "I love you."

Our fights would last longer, the things we said turned colder, and after a while it turned into a contest to see who could hurt the other more. What could I say to completely floor him? What could he do that would destroy me completely?

"I HATE you."

Suddenly it wasn't just about one specific thing- It was about who gave more and who took more. Who took advantage of the other.

You know those movies where the hero runs through a busy street and confesses their undying love in the middle of freaking lunch hour in front of nearly 100 people? What if, instead, your one true love doesn't say the expected 'yes'? What if instead of applause and happy music, there is a thick, awkward silence with a few nervous laughs and everyone leaves you standing there (in the rain, no doubt) alone?

Well, where do you go from there? No one tells you that. It's a heartbreaking moment in life when you realize all the love and affection you have welled up inside you doesn't matter anymore. Not only will I have to face him without any armor, but now he will have the advantage because he knows how much I still need and desperately love him.

The moment he walks away means the fact that you knew his secrets and his favorite color doesn't matter anymore. The fact that you know his hands from anyone else's and you remember the feel of his fingers, his lips, doesn't stop him from looking at you with those cold, indifferent eyes as if he's embarrassed you know those things.

And with every step he takes you die a little more inside.

* * *

…and the beginning.

* * *

We were in the club together. After hours I'd sneak a glance and watch him working, and I'd wait until he caught me. Then he would smile and give me that feeling of elation- like a helium balloon, I'd just keep going up and up and up. He always knew why, I'm sure, he _knew_ why I looked at him but he ignored me anyway. Sometimes I'd drop hints, and sometimes he'd take them. I tried fixing my mind on someone else, to keep away from him, but the torture was too much for me and in the end I liked him even more than I did before. There used to be something in the way he looked at me- it sent shivers down my back. There used to be something in the way I said his name. I'd whisper it to myself, like a caress, only to see how that precious name felt on my lips- and I liked it. 

One day he surprised me. Instead of smiling and looking away when he caught my gaze, he'd pause and consider me, his eyes staring into mine until I looked away. He kept me longer when the rest had gone home and pulled me into his arms. I'd get a thrill of ecstasy every time he touched me. What a strange feeling it was, but special all the same. All week we'd lag behind the others and he'd press my fingers to his lips. He would pull me around a corner and steal a kiss without warning. We'd run down the hallways into the music room and hide behind the curtains and locked doors, breathless, and seize a few precious minutes alone. He was all I needed, all I wanted. It was enough to hear him say I love you, more than the thousand times I would have told him- his single endearment meant more than a thousand praises. He could floor me with one look- in a glance I'd know everything worth knowing. It was in that split moment when all that I knew was in him. He became my entire world, and I was his. We believed in each other, we share kisses that meant something. Hearts that fluttered, fingers that clasped, eyes that shone.

* * *

Kinda happy with this, I wrote it this morning. I'm so used to sad stuff I had a problem with that last part, but I DID IT! YAY! 

I guess it's for Kyoya and Tamaki, but I had no couple in mind originally. I just wrote it.

AND NOW U GET A COOKIE, cause you read the _WHOLE_ thing.

Let me know what you thought, or I shall _smite_ thee with my….

….keyboard?

XDD


End file.
